Sunday, 23 October 2011

Make the Right Choice

We are all capable of being angelic. Not because it's possible to achieve perfection on earth, but because we are not thwarted by its impossibilities.' -Tricotomas

Looking back in the last few years, it is astounding if not contemptible how quickly and completely I destroyed my life as well as negatively impacting others. I watched myself systematically forfeit common sense for a moment of bliss and diversion. Reality had become an enemy that I avoided at all cost. It is only as of late that I have been able to recognize a familiar pattern of destruction. It is clear now that my coping mechanism was dysfunctional. I would surfed upon the top and bottom of the emotional wave, seldom permitting myself to level off in a moment of serenity. I had little self-control and even less rational thoughts.
My emotional pendulum swung wildly and without temperance. Quick fixes, immediate gratification, and outright avoidance had become my method of operation. I did not realize at the time that I had little self-esteem with no courage to fight. I knew however that my actions were consequential and that my future was in peril.

Why did I continuously sabotage myself with poor judgement and action, regardless of the negative outcome that would inevitably follow?

On the surface I had everything; a wife, children, a house, a car, and two cats. However internally I knew that a battle raged. I was hurting but I had no desire to commit to an introspective. My materialistic world was not enough to appease my pain. I needed fast living pleasures and I would painstakingly protect these quick fixes. Unfortunately this type of pleasures would die-off as quickly as I experienced them. The emotional roller coaster ride brought an array of pain and consequences. But that was okay because I could sequester the 'quick fix spirit' to suppress the new chaos that I had just whipped up. This endless cycle bred deception, avoidance and then settled as a welcome friend. But I soon understood that this was one roller coaster ride that my inner-circle of friends would not endure. With no friends and no sense of belonging, I crashed. Today I realize that many are trapped in this 'cycle of hell' and sadly some are not even aware of it.

From extra-marital relationships to substance abuse, from cheating on a diet to lying to our spouses, we know that our actions are wrong and yet we are still driven to destruction. It is amazing how our mind works. It is our will that plants thoughts in our lives much like planting seeds in the garden. We nourish the proverbial seed with many ideas and beliefs. We spawn a personal reality that can either be successful or devastating. We hold the key. We create our own universe. It is important to be aware of our internal strength and all of our capabilities. Let us agree not to walk on that beaten path that leads to poverty mentality. We can choose to change anything that fails to enhance our existence. We can overcome anything.

Let us avoid the cycle of hell and learn to walk like angels. We will take the high road and steer ourselves away from poor decisions.

Self-control and harmony is one choice away to freedom. Make the right choice!

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